The Bee Hive: Black Masculinity Reconstructed

Visions of a Radical Black Masculinity

By E.N. Jackson

Frost Illustrated Newspaper, Inc. Vol. 41, Issue 30

It seems that every time I declare myself officially done trying to understand men, one comes along to completely explode that declaration. Before you know it I’m right back on the rollercoaster, asking myself: which one of us is from another planet? Is it him? Is it me? And if so, which planets are we talking about here? Venus and Mars? Or is that some whole other cultural paradigm that doesn’t even apply to Black male/female relationships?

There is yet another question that I (like so many women) have asked, usually after enduring one more frustrating encounter with a man, and that question is: “Lord, why can’t men be more like women?” But is that really what women want? Do we really want to swallow a man up and turn him into an extension of ourselves just so that we can accept or understand him better, just as men have been doing to women for centuries? The answer for this particular woman is no. Turning a man into a mini-me of myself is a very unsatisfying solution indeed. I am convinced there is a better way.

Recently I watched the ground-breaking 1964 film Nothing But a Man starring Ivan Dixon and one of my personal sheroes, the incredible Ms. Abbey Lincoln. I was deeply moved and at the same time challenged by Lincoln’s portrayal of her character, Josie. With strength, dignity, and grace, Josie had the amazing ability to completely accept Dixon’s character, Duff, for exactly who and what he was. She valued the fact that he was a man with a worldview formed and shaped by his experiences as a male. At the same time, she did her best to partner with him in his efforts to maintain his sense of manhood in a time and place where everyone and everything sought to destroy it. I believe quite strongly that there is great value in men and women looking equally to one another for knowledge about how to move through the world, but like Josie I also value the inherent differences between men and women and see the act of embracing those differences as critical to living a whole, balanced life.

I have always felt that there is something deeply lacking in focusing only on the commonalities between groups. In my view, it is just as wrong to deny people their own personal cultural experience as it is to denigrate them for it. We see the effects of this kind of denial of difference mentality every time someone says, “Oh, I don’t see color. We’re all the same under the skin, right?” Wrong. Yes, ultimately we are all human beings. But no, we are not exactly the same. There are differences between races and cultures, men and women, and those differences are nothing to fear or feel threatened by. Opening ourselves up to diverse people, places, and ideas can enrich and enlighten us. Difference in and of itself should not frustrate us so badly that it causes us to want to completely reject one another; nor should it cause us to feel as if we have to turn each other into mere extensions of ourselves in order to accept one another. Surely there are better options and happier mediums.

So what is a better solution to achieving male-female understanding, mutual respect, and compassion other than turning men into women or women into men? I believe we can look to feminism for an answer. Feminist liberation gave women the opportunity to take a psychological step outside of the Western patriarchal male system. From that vantage point, they could see that the myth of masculine superiority was just as damaging to men operating within that system as it was to women. Historically, a man’s masculinity, particularly in the west, has been based on his ability to gain power, value, and worth through dominance, violence, control, and objectification of those around him, including other males. Furthermore, the male system has placed undue emphasis on consumerism, material excess, capitalistic greed, and fulfillment of the self from the outside in rather than the inside out. As a result, many men have become spiritually and emotionally detached, causing them to be more invested in material possessions than in their personal and professional relationships with others and with the world around them. Western patriarchal masculinity simply does not work. It is a crippling force that not only damages others but keeps many men emotionally and psychologically isolated from women, children, and even other males.

Perhaps what men need, therefore, is a new system that would allow them the same opportunity to step outside of the patriarchal male system in order to see inside of it. Just as women formulated a new definition of femininity and womanhood through feminism and the Women’s Movement, perhaps what men need, especially men of color, is a kind of liberation of their own; one in which they define for themselves what manhood and masculinity means to them rather than continuing to drink the purple Kool-aid of what American society and the dominant culture claims manhood and masculinity means.

So what does a radically reconstructed masculinity look like for men of color? As a woman, I would never presume to speak personally for a man’s experience of manhood. However, I can offer examples of what Black masculinity can and should look like. Listen with your heart to the following passage by Bell Hooks from her book Real Cool: Black Men and Masculinity, as she describes her maternal grandfather: “Daddy Gus gave me the love my heart longed for. Calm, tender, gentle, creative, a man of silence and peace, he offered me a vision of Black masculinity that ran counter to the patriarchal norm. He was the first radical Black man in my life. He laid the foundation; always engaging me in dialogue, supporting my longing for knowledge, and always encouraging me to speak my mind. I honor the lessons he taught me of Black male and female partnership grounded in mutuality.”

Deconstructed, that passage paints a picture of a man very secure in his masculinity and not afraid to love, nurture, and support those around him. Do adjectives like calm, gentle, creative, tender, silent, peaceful, and radical describe you? Are verbs like engaging, supporting, and encouraging ones that describe your actions? Or do words like cold, angry, emotionally distant, uncommunicative, dismissive, and sexist more accurately apply to you? Do you give priority to others and to your relationships? Or do you, your work, and your personal priorities always come first, placing everyone and everything else somewhere on the periphery of your life?

The statistics are grim but they are not new. We have heard them before. We know that according to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, African-Americans have the lowest rates of marriage and marital stability than any other ethnic group and the highest rate of female-headed single-parent households. We also know that Black folks are more likely to be divorced or separated than our white and Hispanic counterparts. But male-female love relationships are not the only ones in trouble in the Black community. Also at stake are male-female work relationships as well as familial relationships among daughters, sons, mothers, fathers, and so on. In Open Mike: Reflections on Philosophy, Race, Sex, Culture, and Religion, Eric Michael Dyson states it best: “Perhaps if we begin to deconstruct and demythologize patriarchal conceptions of gender and masculine identity, we might help our communities move toward understanding and embracing the widest possible view of black identity.”

I am not without compassion when it comes to men’s struggles. I am deeply concerned that so many men, far too many, suffer under the incredible strain of maintaining the illusion of being “hard” 24 hours a day. We have all seen the destructive effects of men either not expressing their true emotions or expressing them through anger, intimidation and violence. Is it a wonder why so many men, especially Black males, suffer the highest incidences of stress-related illnesses and die earlier then females? Ultimately, however, there is no excuse valid enough to justify the daily wrongs, both large and small, that men perpetrate in the name of maintaining their masculine identity. Yes, Black manhood has taken a severe beating in this country. But Black men do still have the ability to make choices and take control of many elements of their lives, including deciding who will define them as men, they themselves or someone outside of their personal cultural experience.

When all is said and done, my preference as a woman is to work with men, not against them; to function with them, not without them. Like Josie in Nothing But a Man, I want to support and encourage the manhood of Black men; I do not, however, want to be controlled or dominated by it or have my own choices limited by it. So I wonder, what does it mean to be a Black man in the New Millennium? How can we as Black men and women continue to forge bonds of mutual respect, communication, and understanding with one another? And finally, are Black men ready to liberate themselves through a radically reconstructed definition of masculinity?